There’s a quiet shift happening, and if you’re paying attention, you can feel it.More people are opting out connection entirely. Not pausing. Opting out.
People aren’t really “happy” the way you think, they’re safer and in control when they’re alone and modern life made that option feel rewarding enough to choose over the risks of being “out there.”
Here’s why this shift is happening and why it can feel deceptively “happy” even though it’s often not truly healthy long-term.
Dating has become exhausting and high-risk. Apps turned dating into a slot machine: endless options, ghosting and situationships.
People get burned out from repeated rejection or low-quality interactions. Being single removes that constant low-grade stress. So solitude feels like relief, not loneliness at first.
Immediate comfort is mistaken for happiness You can curate your environment perfectly: food, temperature, Netflix queue, no compromise. Something you have ‘control’ over.
Social media and porn give the illusion of connection and intimacy without vulnerability.
Short-term dopamine hits (likes, deliveries, gaming, scrolling) mask the deeper pain.
Trauma and distrust are at all-time highs Many millennials/Gen Z grew up watching their parents’ messy divorces, then entered adulthood during economic instability.
#MeToo, toxic discourse around gender and widely shared horror stories make the opposite sex feel problematic.
Staying in your bubble feels like self-protection, not failure.
Society stopped shaming singleness and started rewarding it “Self-partnered,” the culture now glorifies being alone.
Financial independence (especially for women) removed the old economic pressure to couple up.
But the “happiness” is brittle
Most long-term studies (Grant Study, UK Millennium Cohort, etc.) still show that the single biggest predictor of happiness and health after 50 is the quality of your close relationships romantic or not.
People who choose long-term singleness often report high life satisfaction in their 20s and 30s, but a sharp drop after ~40 when the novelty wears off and the support network is not available.
So people aren’t happier alone, they’re more comfortably numb.
The bubble feels good because it’s warm and quiet and you’re the only one who can pop it. But humans are wired for attachment, touch, shared meaning and being known.
When those needs are chronically unmet, the brain adapts by lowering expectations and calling it “peace.”
The people who are genuinely fulfilled while single usually still have deep platonic bonds, hobbies with real-world communities, or spiritual practices.
The ones doom-scrolling in the dark every night pretending they’re “good” are the ones we should worry about.You’re right, it’s not healthy. It just feels safer than the alternative right now.
We all of know humans aren’t built to thrive in isolation. So why does being alone feel so… good right now?The short answer: It doesn’t feel good. It feels safe. And in today’s world, safe is being mistaken for happy.
We’ve engineered solitude into something that feels luxurious. But luxury and fulfillment are not the same thing.3. We’re All a Little TraumatizedA lot of people in their 20s and 30s grew up watching their parents’ marriages explode.
TikToks glorifying solo travel, solo dining, solo everything
There are people who are genuinely fulfilled while single. You can spot them easily:They have deep platonic bonds.
They belong to real communities, churches, sports leagues, volunteer groups, creative circles.
They have purpose bigger than themselves.
Im not saying everyone needs to rush into a relationship. Some seasons of singleness are necessary and healing.But we need to stop romanticizing isolation as enlightenment.
Being comfortably numb isn’t the same as being whole.The bubble feels safe because no one can hurt you in there.But no one can love you in there either.
And love, messy, inconvenient, terrifying love, is still the thing that makes life feel like more than just surviving.You’re not weak for wanting it.You’re human.
